To My Gay and Lesbian Friends

Dear friend,

There’s a lot of opinion buzzing about the two Supreme Court decisions this week.  You and I usually don’t talk too deeply about this issue out of respect for each other and what we each believe.  But I thought it was important to fly in the face of all the rhetoric out there (on both sides) to stop and tell you how much I love you.

I love you enough to tell you that I understand your elation.  I understand how good it must feel to have these decisions come down in your favor.  I get it and I’m happy when I see you happy.

But I also love you enough to tell you that I respectfully can’t celebrate with you.  I don’t agree with the decisions that were made.  I know many would call me a bigot and a “H8TR” for even saying that.  Please know, I don’t want any harm to come to you.  I don’t want you to be mistreated, or discriminated against, or hurt by anyone, or by the laws of this land.  I have nothing but love for you.  I hope that’s what I’ve shown you and continue to show you throughout our friendship.  So indulge me just a little as I try to explain my logic, as twisted as it may appear on the surface.

I love you enough to tell you and hopefully show you that there is a God who loves you way more than I or any human ever could.  He is LOVE!  He knows nothing else but love.  Everything He does is centered and permeated with love.  This God I believe in (and perhaps the One you believe in too) loves all of us enough to set limits on us.  He doesn’t limit His love (it’s limitless) but He does set limits on us.  He, like any loving parent, does not indulge our every desire.  We’ve all seen that kid… the one who gets whatever he wants.  Not only does he make those around him miserable, he is miserable himself.  We know that true love sets limits.

I love you enough to tell you that God applies the same limits to me that He applies to you.  We are designed to be in relationship with Him.  He created us for that.  The limits He sets on you and me are designed to keep us close to Him.  Whatever it is about us, whatever area of our life that causes us to separate from Him, whatever behavior that drives a wedge between He and us, that is where we will find a limit that He has set for us.  The limits are the same for every person.  The difference is in us.  The things I may have a proclivity for to cause distance between Him and I may be different than yours, and vice versa.  But the limits are the same.  We are equal in the eyes of God.  He wants and desires a close relationship with both of us and He wants to remove whatever gets in the way of that.

I love you enough to tell you that sexuality is not outside those limits.  He created and designed each one of us.  He knows better than anyone what drives us, what brings us happiness, what fuels our passion. He knows every detail about you and He loves you.  You may not believe me.  You may think He is cruel for setting limits in an area that is at the core of our humanity and our pleasure, our sexuality, but He does.  He has set limits on EVERYTHING that has the potential to separate us from Him.  That’s not out of cruelty.  It is instead to show us the vastness of His love for us.  He wants a relationship with each of us that much!  He wants you to know Him and the life that you and He can have together is greater – so much greater – than your sexual desires.  Our culture puts such a high value on our sexuality.  He is saying, “I am greater!”  And I believe with all my heart that He is. He has proven it to me in my own life… a life that IS limited in the pursuit of sexual desires.

I love you enough to tell you that all of us would be permanently separated from Him forever because of what we’ve done to cause that separation.  Don’t believe for a moment the lie that you’re somehow “worse” or “less loved” by God because of what separates you from Him.   It’s not true!   All of us are guilty of doing things that would make a relationship with God impossible.  But because Jesus, God’s Son, took the blame for what we’ve done and paid the ultimate price, we can have that relationship that God wants.  We just have to believe that He really did that for us, that He loves us that much.  And we have to want that relationship with Him that He wants with us.  Wanting relationship with Him includes surrendering our desires in acceptance of His love and the limits He sets for us.

As a believer in this great love of His, the decisions this week come as a disappointment to me because they attempt to erase or at least cloud the limits God has set.  It may not be the job of the government to reflect God’s love or His limits.  But for a long time our government has.  The fact that that is changing may be reason to celebrate for some, but I can’t join in that celebration.  My passion for you and for everyone is to know how great His love is and that His love includes setting limits.

I understand that our culture is changing.  These decisions reflect the wisdom of men and I believe they were made with compassion and in the name of equality.  But the wisdom of men is not the same as the wisdom of God.  And His wisdom, compassion, and justice is far greater than any man’s or any nation’s.  I hate to see anyone limited by the wisdom of men when the freedom that comes with the love of God is available for the asking.  I realize a love that sets limits does not sound like freedom.  But just like the kid who got everything and was miserable, it wasn’t until someone loved him enough to limit him that he then had everything!  I respect the laws of this land and the decisions that were made.  But I want you to understand that disagreeing with them does not equal hatred for you.  That couldn’t be further from the truth.  I truly love you and want you to know and experience the love that God has for you.

I love you enough to know and accept our disagreements and love you in spite of them, as I know you love me.  Let’s promise each other that no matter how vicious the rhetoric gets on either side, we will always choose to love each other in spite of our differences.

I love you, friend,


1 thought on “To My Gay and Lesbian Friends

  1. Thank you for speaking for many of us who love, love, love our gay/lesbian friends and those hetero friends who empathize with these recent SC decisions. Its difficult to put into words – but you nailed it!

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